Online Dating

I have officially decided that online dating is not for me. I have tried it multiple times on various sites and apps and I just can’t do it. I have downloaded apps, just to use them for a week, delete them because I got sick of them and then re-download shortly after.

I have tried Tinder, Blendr, PlentyOfFish, Flurv, MeetMe, Oasis, Chatous, Skout, Cuddlr, AND OkCupid Dating. You’d be hard pressed to find a site I haven’t given a shot.

They all function similarly, you sign up, upload some pictures (preferably of your face), write a little blurb and tick a bunch of boxes (which are sometimes quite narrow-minded and limited in their options) which supposedly help to show who you are compatible with. From there it’s a matter of often ticking Yes/No as to whether you’d be interested in talking to a person based off of their images and the information they provide you with.

The biggest issue for me (and this is a double ended situation) is that you choose what information you provide with them, as they do you, and anyone can write whatever they want to paint themselves a certain way. This definitely helps as you only provide the information you want to share, but to me, that’s no way to get to know someone. I’ve been in one of the darkest places in my life recently, but do I say that in my dating profile? Heck no!

I’ve always been the type of person who generally has a gut instinct about a person when I meet them. Online, all I ever feel is uncertainty. It’s so easy to type whatever you please, and present yourself how you want to be seen, but there’s no way to truly judge how a person will be unless you meet them face to face. I like having my gut instinct and following it, instead of just being curious as to who I’m really talking to. I’m also far too safety conscious to meet up with anyone, so basically online dating is pointless for me.

I’ve had a fair few horror stories. Many a conversation has been purely asking for sexual activities and etc, but the worst are the ones that start well and end horribly. One such example occurred on Blendr; I had been chatting with this one guy the first time I got it, and then got fed up with the app and deleted it. When I got back on there, he found me again and messaged saying “Long time no chat, how are you?” And this is where my hatred for the ‘read receipts’ function truly came into being. I saw the message as I was heading back from lunch at work. I couldn’t reply to it at the time (around 1pm) and he obviously saw that I had seen it. I didn’t get a chance to check my phone again until I got home at 6:30 that night. When I opened up my phone again, I had another message from him, and I was excited. Checked it, only to find a message saying “Okay you f&*^ing c&^t. I see how it is. Don’t f&*^ing talk to me again!” I will admit I was crushed. I actually had quite liked talking to this individual the first time round and had been looking forward to talking to him again. I didn’t reply to him. Just blocked him and then within an hour deleted the app for the second time.

I feel like there are far too many expectations on dating apps that everyone is to be available all the time, but some people live in the real world. I hold a full-time, Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 job that doesn’t allow me to have my phone accessible at all times. In fact the only times I am supposed to touch it, is lunch and when my shift is over. I can’t afford to sit on my phone all day at work or I’d never get anything done (and I’d get fired).

So all in all, online dating is not for me. I would much prefer to meet someone out somewhere, get talking and potentially end up on a date etc. For that to happen however, I would have to leave my house, and not be with my family! So we’ll see.

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